We are happy for the inconvinience...

SadisticCEO, the boss of BlockzRock, the major building company, has put up a sign saying:" We are happy for the inconviniece." This sign has led to many protests from the residents who saw the sign. Residents who were 984103.57 miles away from their latest building site at block 001 in Tampines or nearer were particularly annoyed by the sign as they were often woken up by the noise. Said AngryProtester001:" BlockzRock was purposely trying to annoy us! They know perfectly well that we prefer the words: We are overjoyed at your inconvinience and we want to laughed at and insult you. Get lost!" Hooligans have erased the "happy" away from the sign and replaced it with a shocking word:"Sorry" More later as I need to sleep now it is almost ten o'clock bye!

Scientists discover a new type of metal!

Scientists have discovered a new type of metal known as Urinetanium.Urinetanium is a metal so rare that one gram of it can be traded for a litre of urine, hence the name. The metal was discovered on a planet made out of virtual-reality. This planet is known as Steam and is extremely full of Urinetanium. However, the natives, known as "Geeks" live in a gigantic "Home Treehouse" that is directly above a huge stash of Urnietanium. Democracy talks with their king, "Nerd", have failed as he is too lazy to type in the code to teleport the Home Treehouse to somewhere else. These Geeks have tough and stiff exoskeletons developed from hours of online gaming and so the military have decided to create "Avatars", which are game characters. They cost the military hours to download and billions of dollars to buy cheat codes on ebay. Jake was a gamer who was laughed at in the military because he was horrible at playing games. His twin brother Jeff was supposed to control one of the Avatars, but he got shot in Counter-Strike. So Jake was filling Jeff's place. Jake, was sent to a dedicated to infiltrate the Geeks. He was about to be attacked by a Geek but just then, he leveled up and this intrigued the Geek to follow him. He was attacked by some Wolf-Rats but the Geek saved him. The Geek bought Jake to the Home Treehouse and he was questioned by Nerd, who sent him to learn how to farm for rare items. Unfortunately, Jake was addicted to gaming, and realized that the military was "Griefing", meaning spoiling the game for other players by teamkilling and such. He was made an Admin just as the military decided to activate a cheat code. In the chaos, Jake managed to kill the general and kicked the military out of the game, banning them forever. The military reports that they will try to hack through the ban, but they have had no sucess so far

Scallopia attacks Bluebowlaria!

Scallopia has attacked Bluebowlaria in it's quest for Dining Table Domination. Scallopia took an army of over 9 million scallops and an orb containing a shard of the power of their god, Eater. However, Bluebowlaria did not give up without a fight. It amassed a large defensive force of 2 potato deities and billions of rice soldiers. Scallopia used their "Shard of the Eater" to drop teeth, saliva and mouth bombs on the potato deities, reducing them to mere potato pieces, who served as generals for a short time. The panicked rice soldiers filled in a trench of potato soup, hoping that the bombs did not like potato soup. Unluckily for them, it was one of the bombs' favourite soups, and the rice soldiers, along with the potato piece generals were eaten. But the potato deities would not die without doing some harm to the enemy and merged their remaining power to summon their god, Ye Ye. The "God of Dustbins", as he was called, destroyed all the scallops and threw them in his dreaded dustbin. But the Eater was not called a god for no reason, and he quickly produced some more scallops, complete with Shell Armour. Eventually, Bluebowlaria realized that they could not win, but rather than let Scallopia conquer the strategically placed bowl country, they threw themselves in the Sink and called upon Ye Ye to destroy them and make sure Scallopia would not conquer the bowl. Ye Ye did not break his promise, utterly ripping them to pieces with the two legendary ancient weopons: Soap and Water. He even used his emergency last-resort weopon: the feared and dreaded Cloth. If you do not know, this Cloth is so powerful that only the Dustbin outranks it. Scallopia and all the rest of the countries on the Dining Table were wiped out in the predicted Sink Armeggeddon. Eater and Ye Ye survived, but their true names were destroyed along with the rest of the countries as only they knew their real names. There is hope, though. Cardologists have found some ancient artifacts known as rubber bands, containg the Legendary Duel Master Deck. They also found a note saying, "Property of Eater" with the intials C.Y written upon it with an unknown ink, but some have theorized that the ink belonged to the Lost Pen and Pencil.

Stick of Toblerone pierces infant's brain!

One-year-old TheCarelessKid was playing with some Toblerone sticks when he fell and the Toblerone stick went through his nose and into his brain. Naturally, his parents were worried that he might get a sweet tooth and rushed him to the local choclate eater. As he was afraid he might break his diet by eating it, they had to ride ten hours in a taxi to a choclate factory. There, a team of expert gluttons and chocaholics. Mr. Willy Wonka commented that they were afraid that the choclate was not tasty enough. Fortunately, it was, and TheCarelessKid is making a fast recovery at a snail's pace

Santa Claus a cannibal?

Santa Claus, the famous Christmas symbol, was found in his flat eating a boy. The boy, who was ten years old and was called Leong Chong-Yu, lost 3 quarters of his head and all his limbs, but he lived due to the fact that his brain still existed. Santa Claus, when questioned, denied everything and said that they were blind. The angry judge sentenced Santa Claus to being eaten by a mutated octopus turned zombie. Santa Claus made an epic escape, only to fall in an acid dumping ground and die. The trial continues for no reason

Batman kills citizen with grappling hook

It was an accident, he claims
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Batman was hauled away to the police station after he had shot a grappling hook into Mr Pronetodie's stomach. Mr Prone was admitted to the emergency room after 5 hours. At exactly 14:75 pm, he was pronouced dead by a group of people randomly chosen from the insane asylum
armed with flaming kryptonite chainsaws. Batman claims that he had accidently shot the grappling hook through a window and into Mr Prone's stomach. Mr Prone, who was the sole breadwinner of a family of 25, left his wife 5 cents and his children 1 cent each. His wife and children were distraught and attacked Batman with butter knives. Batman has been hauled in for questioning and it has been discovered that he was eating ice cream when he shot the grappling hook. A man, when interviewed, demanded to know why he wasn't eating Magnum ice cream but instead was eating Magnolia. The judge sentenced Batman to Life Banning of Eating Ice Cream and/or Playing Electronic Games